Birthday of UG – Talk with GG - 5

 

It was nearing lunch time and we invited him to join us for lunch. We continued our conversation after food.

Venkat re-started. “I have another doubt”.

I said, “Proceed”.

Venkat: “Why does Sri Vidya upasana have various deities like Bala, Lalita, Tripura, Bhagala, etc? Sri Vidya has mantras in ascending order of progress. Why do we need so many? Isn’t one deity capable of giving us siddhi?”

Me: “What made you question this?”

Venkat: “I have a friend who is a dancer and also a follower of Srividya. He mentioned about following ‘Bala’ sometimes and ‘Lalita’ at other times. Why so?”

Me: “Did you not pose the same question to him?”

Venkat: “I did. He explained that deities have their own emotions to express. Dance is about expressing various emotions. To forge each emotion, he resorts to various deities and their upasanas. He even claims that the respective deity communicates with him.”

Me: “How does the deity communicate? Is she physically visible to him?”

Venkat: “No. Once in a while, he hears instructions from her about what to do and what not to do.”

I laughed and continued: “It must be his hallucination. They are whispers from his own mind. If the deity really wants to communicate to him, his mind should be very clear and pious. And if he were that pious, he wouldn’t resort to Sri Vidya upasana for dance. Majority of the population hallucinate about such things. They are not true manifestations.”

I further continued: “This is not true Sri Vidya. This is a major drawback while dealing with sadhakas and Gurus. What is the actual need for upasana? It might be a worldly desire or it might be moksha. Doing upasana for worldly desires is mean. As Sri Ramakrishna says, ‘it is akin to choosing brinjals when the king is ready to give a boon’. Upasana for moksha is supreme. But we rarely find such people. Everyone is ‘kshudra’ (mean). They pray expecting some physical boon in return. ‘Kshudra’ does not mean black magic. A prayer done for worldly things is considered to be a ‘kshudra puja’. Only the prayer for moksha counts as pure worship. Let us not bother about others.

There are scores of people in Sri Vidya who resort to upasanas of various deities for wordly causes. These are the people who hallucinate as mentioned above. Any deity is capable of giving both – worldly at the least to moksha at the best. For example, many consider ‘Bala’ as the deity to be worshipped in the initial days of Sri Vidya. They assume it is like a child’s play. But there are many who attained salvation through Bala. They consider Bala upasana as supreme and capable of fulfilling every desire. It is true. If you make sincere effort, only one deity should be sufficient. She will manifest everything.

As long as you think in terms of giving-and-receiving and profit-and-loss, your sadhana is still at a very preliminary level and in the wrong direction. It is not about the Goddess giving you boons and you receiving them. You should lose your sense of self in the process. By experience, you should realize that you are no different from her and merge with her completely. In fact, all these physical forms of deities are not different from each other. They are manifestations of one divine energy. The same energy resides in you as well. This cannot be expressed by mere words. One should feel it through experience.

‘Bala’ can be fierce. ‘Kali’ can be peaceful. It all depends on your perspective. Bala transforms into Kali. She is capable of interchanging her appearance. That which controls creation (srushti), maintenance (sthiti) and resolution (laya) is capable of doing everything.

For example, consider the analogy of sunlight entering our home through a small window. Consider this to be Bala. We can get the same sunlight through a door as well. Consider it to be Lalita. The same sunlight enters home through a tainted glass as well. Consider it to be Kali. It is the same light that is entering through various intensities and brightness. But your perception about them varies. Whether you use it to fulfil your wishes or use one of the exits to merge into the limitless sunlight outside decides your fate. The same sunlight has been referred to as Brahma or Vishnu or Siva. Your job is to merge with the light. But if you choose to stay inside the house and use the sunlight for petty things, you are wasting your efforts. You should try to get out of the house and become one with the divine light. Any kind of opening can lead you to the destination irrespective of its dimensions. You should take help of it and step into brightness. Irrespective of which deity you start with, you should use it as a window to merge in the infinite consciousness. From this point of view, any deity is the same. There is no grading in deities.

Jillellamudi Amma always insisted – ‘If you know what a ‘mantra’ means, you will see tht all the mantras in the world are equal’. There were many who criticized her words in those days.

Only petty-minded people distinguish between mantras and deities. They fight over grading deities and make tall claims about ‘their God’ being better. They are the ignorant who do not know the entire truth.

Sri Vidya has various stages and various mantras. It is true. But what does it mean to step from one stage to another? What does it mean to follow a certain mantra? It means to manifest their energies within you. I know a few Sri Vidya upasakas who are Gurus. They upgrade various mantras periodically and ask the disciples to recite. They even charge for it. Yantras are up for sale. Every time a mantra is upgraded, it is charged. It is a business of sorts. It is but a grave mistake. Should one really stoop so low for money?

The disciples are no less. They intend to grab everything from the Guru as soon as possible and start their own business. They follow the same procedure of selling the mantras at a price and claim to be Gurus, deceiving people along the way.

Is this true Sri Vidya?

To attain siddhi in any of the Sri Vidya mantras, one has to persevere for a very long time. It does not end with it. To prove that the mantra has manifested to you, you would undergo certain experiences. There would be changes happening internally. Your personality would change. You would change overall as a person. Without this process, if you think that a six-month japa of the mantra is adequate to yield results, you are grossly wrong.

I had the same doubt as a kid: ‘Why does Sri Vidya need so many deities? Isn’t one sufficient?’. I even enquired a few Gurus. Few brushed away saying the question was inappropriate for my age and the answer was beyond my understanding. A few more gave random explanations. But I understood that nobody had the right answer. As days passed, my sadhana gave me the appropriate answers. Mother showed me the way. She taught me everything. She helped me understand everything.

I answered myself: ‘All these energies are part of you. You forge ahead demonstrating each ‘shakti’ within you, understand it and move on to the next phase until you know your true self. This is the actual path of Sri Vidya’. In my knowledge, people who propogate this kind of Sri Vidya do not exist anymore. Everyone is commercial.”

Venkat: “True. Even Kavya Kanta Ganapathi muni emphasized that Bala, Lalita, Tripura and others were dormant ‘shaktis’ in us. I couldn’t follow his Sanskrit thoroughly. But this is as far as I could comprehend.”

Me: “yes. He mentioned the same in ‘Uma Sahasram’. He followed ‘Shuddha upasana’. Veda and Tantra go hand-in-hand in his method, which is the same as I said.  In this path, external upasana moulds itself into internal upasana over time. That means, there is balance between your ‘outside’ and ‘inside’. Ultimately, you would learn through experience that those deities whom you are praying to externally, are the dormant energies inside you. This is the reason my book ‘The secret of Sri Vidya’ has a subtitle named ‘The pure path of Upasana’. Got it?”

Venkat: “Yes. I understood”.

(To be continued…….)